Sledge Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 A thread for all the "How many X does it take to screw in a lightbulb" jokes! How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be very small. How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know. THAT'S RIGHT! YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE, YOU CAN'T EVER KNOW! How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But the bulb has to WANT to change. How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They hold the lightbulb up and the world revolves around them. How many WA owners does it take to change a lightbulb? There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb. Obviously, our requirements from lightbulbs differ. Whilst opbviously you prefer a to get light, I prefer a good-looking bulb with realistic trades. Any more? Link to post Share on other sites
seth Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 How many WA owners does it take to change a lightbulb? There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb. Obviously, our requirements from lightbulbs differ. Whilst opbviously you prefer a to get light, I prefer a good-looking bulb with realistic trades. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> How many WA owners does it take to change a lightbulb? Takes two. One to make sure the glass on the bulb is "heavyweight" glass instead of regular glass, then another to announce that all other light bulbs are inferior because they didn't cost as much. Link to post Share on other sites
DJSMITH Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! Rottweiler: Make me. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. Labrador Retriever: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb? Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ... Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little cluster... Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?" Link to post Share on other sites
rizzo Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How many pessimists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, whats the point? It'll just break again... Link to post Share on other sites
DarkLite Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How many homeless people does it take to change a lightbulb? There are no homeless people indoors, you silly nonce. Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How many DarkLites does it take to change a lightbulb? One - he can hold it up with his goddamn penis and his hands do the rest... Link to post Share on other sites
DarkLite Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How many DarkLites does it take to change a lightbulb? One - he can hold it up with his goddamn penis and his hands do the rest... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to post Share on other sites
Soloman Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 One from my friend: How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and cry. Link to post Share on other sites
rocky164 Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only two - its getting into the lightbulb thats the problem Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and cry. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> One for enzo there Link to post Share on other sites
Ghost_Rider Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How many geardoes does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it must be made by HSGI...... Link to post Share on other sites
Night_raven Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How many geardoes does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it must be made by HSGI...... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> good one G_R Night_raven Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 How many teenage Arnie's members does it take to change a lightbulb? As many as are available, as long as the lightbulb is willing to change into something skimpier. Link to post Share on other sites
doc_newstead Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We've had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*. Link to post Share on other sites
DrewLawson Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Do you guys wanna play kickball. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkLite Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 How many teenage Arnie's members does it take to change a lightbulb? As many as are available, as long as the lightbulb is willing to change into something skimpier. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Rich, coming from a 15 year old who started a thread called "Hawtness"... How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Do you guys wanna play kickball. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I believe that joke goes thus: How many kids with ADD/ADHD does it take to - PLASTIC BAG! PLASTIC BAG! PLASTIC BAG! PLASTIC BAG! Link to post Share on other sites
Holmes Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 How many omish people does it take to change a lightbulb? What's a lightbulb? How many nostalgics does it take to change a lightbulb. Four. One to change it, one to hold the ladder, and the other two to talk about how great the old one was. Link to post Share on other sites
Ghost_Rider Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: whoa, is it like, dark in here, man? Link to post Share on other sites
DJSMITH Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 How man Alcoholics does it take to Change a lightbulb? 30, One to hold the lightbulb up, the other 29 to drink until the room spins. Link to post Share on other sites
Hardcore_Mitsuko Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 How many geardoes does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it must be made by HSGI...... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That was my joke! I came up with it and you stole it from me! Link to post Share on other sites
sniper_boi Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 awww. Link to post Share on other sites
serial Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only two - its getting into the lightbulb thats the problem <{POST_SNAPBACK}> :rofl: Link to post Share on other sites
elrey Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 How many Arnie's members does it really take to screw in a light bulb? 2: Havoc continuously makes a mountain out of spam, which Crandall13 stands on until he can reach the table the lamp is on. Link to post Share on other sites
rocky164 Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 someone delete a few posts here? fair enough, i deserved that Link to post Share on other sites
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