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Badgerwars : another epic Dafool story

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Dafool

Dafool

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I present to you, a story, by Dafool, with the assistance of Ubar, Jules, Havoc, and the other members on the Team Speak server at the time of my story discussion.

 

 

 

BADGER WARS ! part 1

 

 

epic.jpg

THE FALL OF EARTH !

 

 

Once upon a time, R22 was getting up. The sun was shining and R22 said to himself

"Time to pray in the name of Wanglin" . SO R22 went to to the bathroom to pray on the alter, that was a converted toilet. "O Wanglin" sad R22, "Holy Wanglin, give me my daily cookie, Tedborg" . But then R22 smelled a weird smell, someone has tainted the holy toilet alter !

 

R22 couldn't bare it and ran out into the streets and screamed " In Wanglins name, what has happened to my alter! ". After R22 said that, he heard a evil laugh, then a dark voice

" It was me, The Toilet Master who ruined your altar!, and no one will ever catch me ! ".

 

R22 couldn't bare the pressure and called for Mum. Mum was angry and hit Toilet Master with her large wooden potato masher, and grabbed Toilet Master by the ear and shouted " You are grounded for 2 weeks"

 

R22 squealed with joy, and shaved his neighbourghs cat and pet parrot with his shaver, to celebrate.

 

2 months later he received a letter from Sledge. Sledge has contacts within the police force and could therefor buy a badgershuttle, of Ebay, so he could go to the moon and have a picnic

and have a chance to try Urban_Ninja's japanese Badger, that he just bought.

 

The letter said that R22 should go to area: 56.

 

R22 immediatly took his jeep and drove of out to Area:56, but after driving there, Mum phoned and sayed that he forgot his lunch box, so R22 had to go home and get it. When R22 got back, he saw the massive badgershuttle. It was as big as a american space shuttle and was on one of those space vessel launch pads.

 

R22 walked up to it, amazed. On the badgers backside, a large door was opening, with steam coming out of it. Out of the steam came Sledge in a rubber fetish suit with a Darth Vader helmet. Behind him he had 20 evil badgers on leeches. Sledge said "Welcome R22, prepare for launch, we are going to the moon"

R22 climbed in and within ten minutes, Sledge was in the cockpit fiddling with all the buttons. Then the count down begun, and within 3 seconds the badgershuttle was launched into the space, in the same style as apollo 13. R22 was cluthing to his seat belt as they exited the atmosphere. "Wow" said R22.

Sledge replied to R22 "We are going to the moon too build a base, we are going to claim the moon in the name of Wanglin, and build a Deathstar of lego". R22 stared at sledge and sayed, " We should be careful, alot of people would try to kill us for this weird idea of yours". Sledge sayed " Not my idea, gear_boi's.

 

Eventually, the badgershuttle landed, Sledge ran out and screamed, "One small step for Badger, a giant leap for badgerkind!". After this, he set up the Badger flag and started to work.

Sledge took his moon car, wich is actually a big lawn mower, and drove of to the place where he was going to start building his lego Deathstar.

R22 was still in the badgershuttle, getting out some badgers to throw into space. R22 stood by the edge of a cliff, on the moon, throwing Badgers into space, towards Earth. The Badgers squeaked as they drifted away slowly into space. R22 threw about 1000 badgers before he got tired, and then decided to explore.

 

R22 walked to the north of the moon, towards some cliffs. After walking for two days he got tired and decided to open the lunch box Mum gave him. He opened it and found a bong with some fishpaste tobacco.

R22 sat there and smoked all day, til he eventually saw something very blurry, wich a weird crackling sound. He didn't know what it was, but it was flying above the top of the cliff, R22 followed it, and followed it, and followed it, til he reached a big cliff. There the thing became visible.

R22 screamed "ARRR, A LARGE SPACE BREAST". The breast shoot out a laser beam from it's nipple and hit R22 in the forehead killing him.

 

Meanwhile: on Earth, a astronomer, who is looking thru his space scope, saw a small fury object that was quickly getting bigger. It was to late, the astronomer screamed "Incoming Badg....." and before he could finish his line, he got hit my a badger at high velocity.

 

All around Earth, badgers where falling thru the sky destroying things. People were running amok. After 2 days of badgers falling thru the sky, the world exploded, and everybody died, except one sect, the evil Jehovas witnnes sect. They believed in the MAG policy "No fun"

 

Back on the moon, sledge finished building his deathstar of lego.

 

To be continued....

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doc_newstead

doc_newstead

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Did any of you notice how quiet I was at AG when these things came up? I can't read these threads, they bedazzle me. I talked to DaFool, but it was about tea-tree oil and body waxing. I can't be doing with badgers and cheesecake at 5am on a chilly Saturday morning... :D

 

(Why was I up that early?!)

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Dafool

Dafool

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Did any of you notice how quiet I was at AG when these things came up? I can't read these threads, they bedazzle me. I talked to DaFool, but it was about tea-tree oil and body waxing. I can't be doing with badgers and cheesecake at 5am on a chilly Saturday morning... :D

 

(Why was I up that early?!)

 

 

*Dafool goes Morfeus mode*

 

You where up to enjoy a fresh morning fart;) that's what you were doing

 

If you take the blue pill, you will forget this convo, if you take the badger, you will be blesses ;)

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Dafool

Dafool

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toiletmaster.jpg

 

Episode Two , Toilet Master's revange!

 

 

This part takes place two days before Earth was destroyed, and is about how Toilet Master finds Sledge.

 

 

 

2 days before Earth was destroyed....

 

Back before earth was destroyed, Toilet_Master, managed to get thru his severe ground with Mum, and now he was looking for Sledge to kill him. At Sledge's apartment, Mutant badgers with mp5k's, and laser beams, surrounded Sledge's apartment.These mutant badgers where the hench badgers of Toilet_Master,

and where prepared to fight for toilet_master, in return they shall get all the *albatross* Clown cereal they wanted. In the same style as Starwars, the Mutant badgers broke in and searched the apartment, all they found were womans underwear,revolvers and sledge playboy collection, dating from 1920. Toilet_Master came in after all the Badgers did their searching. The mutant badger sergeant said to Toilet_Master "Sir we found sledge's super toilet flushing AI" to this Toilet_Master replied "Bring me to it". Toilet Master was brought into sledges bathroom. It was like a big gray ball formed room with a bridge going into the middle, where the toilet was, and the advanced toilet flushing AI. The AI said " I do nothing but flush Sledges toilet for him" Toilet_Master said "no you don't, now tell me what you know" the Toilet Flushing AI said " Neva ! ". Toilet master got angry and bought out his Nokia phone and started pressing all the buttons. The toilet flushing AI started to squeal in pain because of the radiation "EEEEKKKK my system is melting, stop stop !, okay, that toilet leads to Dafool's world, from there you can use his portal to the moon, where Sledge is!. toilet_Master ordered the badgers to shoot the Toilet flushing AI. Toilet_Master looked down the toilet, and could see Dafool watching Homofilian: The Homosexual Turtle and eating *albatross* Clown cereal, in a cage hanging from the ceiling. Toilet_Master dressed up as Urban Ninja, and jumped into his world.

 

Dafool was happily eating *albatross* Clown cereal til he heard a thunk sound, Dafool turned around cluthing the badger in his holster, because he was afraid, then he saw Toilet_maser dressed up as Urban_Ninja. Dafool said " Nice to see you! here, have some *albatross* Clown cereal" Toilet_Master tried to say no, but Dafool said " Here comes the airplane" and before toilet master could say no, he got a nice big spoonful

of *albatross* Clown. Toilet_master became dizzy as the spoon of *albatross* Clown melted in his mouth. "it tastes like *albatross*" said Toilet_Master", Dafool said "It's because it's clown *albatross* flavour, hence the name"

assclowncereal.jpg

Dafool then insisted that Toilet Master should watch The Star Trek Gay Porn Marathon with him. Toilet Master didn't want to blow his cover and had to say yes.

And within 10 min, they were watching it...of course, Dafool didn't have a sofa, he had bondage machines,and other various medieval torture machines. Toilet Master hesitated as Dafool tied him to big machine that looked like a electric chair, only with a whiping machine on that back, and a hole in the center of the chair it self, where he was going to sit. "No please, I insist I get to sit on the floor, you see I have a back ache" said Toilet Master shivering in fear . Dafool replied "Ah, this will help your back, you see this lever, I can pull it and it streaches your back". Dafool pulled the lever and Toilet Master screamed. Dafool locked himself into a cage hanging in the ceiling, and said "Comfy and nice, isn't it ? I bought this from Ikea". Now they both sat down to watch a 8 hour long Gay Star Trek Marathon. Several times during the film, Dafool called for his shaved gorilla to get some Natruel lemon juice and to pull the lever some more on the chair , where toilet Master was sitting. Toilet Master groaned a bit every time lever was pulled by the gorilla. In the middle of the film,

 

Dafool's mail man knocked on the door to deliver some mail. As soon as Dafool opened the door the mail man dropped the mail on the ground the same time he dropped his jaw and stared thru the hallway in fear. He saw Toilet Master in the torture chair. Dafool sayed "Don't worry, we're just enjoying the pleasure of watching Star Trek Gay Marathon in medieval furniture that I bought from Ikea" Toilet Master groaned again. Then Dafool said "Do you want to join us?". The post man screamed like a girl and ran of toward the horizon, where he phoned the police.

Dafool said to himself "what a strange person, it's just some erotic medieval furniture"

 

In minutes the police surrounded Dafool's house, in Tellitubbi land. "Come out with your hands up" said the police officer, then, all of a sudden, in the middle of this, a pink space ship that looked like a egg landed in the middle of the field, out of it came snip3r. "I'll handle this" said Snip3r. In second he ran into the house bravely, with a m4 at the ready.A brief silence then crash bang and some

strange moaning sounds came from inside the house. The police officer said "what are they doing?" then out came Snip3r running, naked, chased by a big dragon in pants covered in hearts.

 

The the police ordered "Right men, charge!". all the police men charged towards Dafool's house, but Dafool has been busy planting land mines and bear traps earlier that day. So all the police men kept getting stuck and blown up etc.

Now all the police men where either dead or trapped. But then came super man to the rescue. Super Man, however, ran out of red pants and his blue suit was in the wash, so he came dressed in a diving suit with a pink thong and a towel as cape that says Diesel on it, instead .He flew past all the mines and punched thru the door, where Dafool was busy brewing some Coffee. Super Man punched him, but his punch

was so girly, that Dafool didn't move, Super Man then took a large Microwave and rammed Dafool with it, knocking him out.

 

Super Man then released Toilet_Master and said "Don't worry fellow citizen, I saved you!" Toilet_master pushed him aside then ran into Dafool's toilet. the toilet was a bondage machine as well, and next to it was a shave parrot in a cage that keep saying "O noes, stinky smell, fayg0t arr!" Toilet_Master looked down Dafool's toilet and could see the moon. He jumped thru. And now he was on the moon with sledge.

 

Toilet_Master's disguise as Urban_Ninja was undamaged suprisingly. He walked around for a bit, he was amazed, he saw 50 green cows and flying monkeys that farted themselves thru the air. Then he relized that it was some strange gas, that was in the air,that made him high , it was Fishpaste tobacco. He walked for about 3 days, and during that time he had to make several escapes from the dreaded space

breasts. He finally reached sledges Death Star of lego, and he was about to launch it.

Toilet_master sighed.

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Jules

Jules

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Once he's written all 4 parts (apparently... :unsure:) an extended edition, narrated by Dafool himself, will be released in Windows Media Audio format (or MP3 if I can get a decent converter).

 

"ACE-HIGH MP3 WAV WMA OGG Converter"

 

http://www.mp3towma.com/mp3-wav-wma-converter-full.exe

 

Works for many different formats, and easy to, er, "activate." ;)

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Frost92

Frost92

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When I read these I thought I was high. I then realized that I wasn't. Then I thought it must be early in the morning, but it was only 11:22PM.

 

That is pure genius Dafool, I WANT MORE NOW!!1!!

 

Do episode three.

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